Posted 10 years ago on Dec. 16, 2011, 9:38 a.m. EST by ZenDogTroll
from South Burlington, VT
This content is user submitted and not an official statement
I wish to announce my candidacy for President. I have but one major platform, and it is thus:
To end the influence of money on politics.
With this in mind, what I propose is to rid America of its corporate influence on politics - where ever it may be found.
Toward that end, we will have a purge.
If elected, you should expect a statistically significant spike in car accidents and heart attacks, resulting in death, occurring among those who would with crass self interest, in the name of greed, destroy our republic.
We will rewrite the tax code, so that it is competitive with nations like Ireland, and corporations will once again pay tax.
Industries of finance, telecommunications, and energy will all become public institutions.
Those who oppose such measures will not survive the purge.
Institutions that are too big to fail, will be broken up into their smallest pieces.
There will be no Keystone XL pipeline - for it is a pipe dream.
Mid level managers of savings and investment institutions who have engaged in fraud will spend ten years in servitude to the public, bound to hard labor, repairing roads and bridges throughout America.
There will be no more speculation on commodities of necessity, for this is a burden that cannot be borne by either the peoples of the third world, or of us, here at home.
The government will institute such fines and order such restitution from the savings and investment sector where appropriate and as may be necessary to recover the economy and to purchase those homes closed by bankruptcy, to be turned over to the homeless throughout the nation, and homelessness shall become a thing of the past.
I will end the War On Drugs - very simply - by identification of those financial resources of drug cartels, stealing them using computer technology, and using that money to shore up the Mexican government and secure their cooperation as the cartels are eliminated by predator drone.
And when the college kids get antsy enough because there is no pot - they will demand their rights to get high with protest, and so prohibition will come to an end.
Oh how I abhor
The Hordes of Lying Whores
Who Prowl the People's Halls of Power
Bearing Gifts in the name of Profit
ZenDog For President!
Bumper stickers will be available to my supporters in the foyer.
Thank you for your support.