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Forum Post: How trolls think - TROLLOSOPHY exposed!

Posted 3 years ago on Oct. 21, 2011, 7:50 p.m. EST by TIOUAISE (2526)
This content is user submitted and not an official statement

Yikes! This morning I made a wrong move and fell off my horse, nearly cracked my skull and was suddenly blinded by the light of a trollface shining in the disc of the sun...

Whew!!! I suddenly KNEW in my heart of hearts that the much-maligned trolls had been correct all along! So I swore then and there to stop persecuting them and to in fact JOIN the furry little critters!

O my brothers! o my sisters! I also realized that you valiant, hard-working, cuddly little muppets need to get with the times and form your own MOVEMENT!

I even thought of a name for it : TOTAL KON-TROLL!!! D'ya like it?

Of course, you cute little imbeciles will need a PROGRAM. First, you want to get Obama to "move on"... even though he's quite the troll himself, actually. I mean, he just authorized the assassination of a 16-year old U.S. citizen without a trial ... not too shabby for a hopey-changey-commie dummy, huh!!!??? http://www.salon.com/2011/10/20/the_killing_of_awlakis_16_year_old_son/singleton/

Second, as soon as you're in power, you want to abolish the "Constitution", the "Bill of Rights" and all such commie liberal bullshit. Won't be needed no more, 'cause the Republic will become a no-nonsense, pre-Magna-Carta TROLLDOM, under the Troll of Trolls, King Rush (Limbaugh) and his loyal 1% gang.

The remaining 99% will only be tolerated as SERFS, barely eking out a miserable existence and there to do ALL our bidding... Just think of all those cute half-starvin' serf chicks we silly, sex-obsessed, impotent, Viagra-burping guy-trolls will get to choose from!!! OO-WEE!

I do realize you dimwits have a hard time with spelling and grammar, so I hereby offer my services as your... Propaganda-Fuehrer! Our logo would of course be that "trollface" I saw in my vision and just posted on Wikipedia. And right off the top of my head, here are a few slogans you might wanna start splashing on some posters...

"TROLL POWER!!!" "TROLL POWER!!!" "TROLL POWER!!!"

"Fuck Occupy Wall Street!" (troll rap song on YouTube)

"END the fight against corruption!"

"Honesty is the WORST policy - strictly for losers!"

"Lliberalism is a mental disorder." (Thank you, Karl99, for posting this pearl of unwisdom on the forum November 14.)

"CITIZENS UNITED against Social Justice!"

"Congress should rely on America’s wealthy to take care of income disparity!" (Thank you, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) on Fox News on Halloween Day 2011)

"Common decency is WAAAY overrated"

" 'You The People' SUCK!!!!"

"HELL NO YOU CAN'T!" (Thank you, John Boehner, House speech 03/21/10)

"Be kind... adopt a billionaire!"

“Take that bone out of your nose and call me back.” (Thank you, Rush Limbaugh, o uncontested King of the Trolls, for that candid response to a female African-American caller)

"Poor? Sick? Unemployed? TOUGH!!!"

"Try misery - it builds character!"

"Ban the baby bottle - no more FREE HANDOUTS for the little suckers!"

"Let the children of the poor clean the toilets in their schools" (Thank you, Newt Gingrich, you truly are the Mother Teresa of the GOP and deserve to walk around with a halo!!! - CBS, Dec 1, 2011)

"Padlock all foodbanks - Let 'em STAAARVE!"

"If You Don't Have A Job And You're Not Rich, Blame Yourself!' (Thank you, Herman Cain! Wall Street Journal, October 5)

"BLAME the poor, make'em feel ashamed - that's the American way!"

"IGNORE thy neigbor!"

"Screw all those losers who 'thirst and hunger for Justice'!"

"Social Justice is a scam and a lie that has been pushed by the left for decades." (Thank you, "The1capitalist", for this pearl of unwisdom posted on this forum November 5)

"Jesus was a no-good bleeding-heart LIBERAL! Crucify the hippie!"

"Hate is good - love is for SISSIES!"

"Genocide, rape and plunder are what made America GREAT!!!"

"Morality is for suckers!"

"Greed is good". (Thank you, Gordon Gecko, for that immortal line in Oliver Stone's "Wall Street")

"IN GREED WE TRUST"

"Corporations are people too" (Thank you, Supreme Court of the United States AND Mitt Romney, who reminded a heckler in Iowa : "Corporations are people, my friend!" - August 11, 2011)

"There is no god but MONEY! Worship MAMMON!!!"

"WHO are we sworn to serve? MAMMON! MAMMON! MAMMON!"

"I keep god in a trunk in my basement. Every so often, I take his corpse out and have sex with it." (A genuine comment posted on this forum by "MikeyD")

“I mean, it's like a derivative of actual pepper. It's a food product, essentially.” (Thank you, Megyn Kelly of Fox News, for this OH SO enlightening comment on the use of pepper spray by UC Davis police against peaceful student protesters, from the November 21 broadcast of "The O’Reilly Factor".)

"Truth is a LIE and lies are the TRUTH!"

"Evil is good and good is evil : THAT is the summation of our TROLLOSOPHY!"

OK now, ya bunch of furry little Koch-sucking weasels, let's hear it for "TROLL POWER!!!" "TROLL POWER!!!" "TROLL POWER!!!"

(UPDATE : Do not miss PART TWO of "the world's first Compendium of Trollosophy" published here: http://occupywallst.org/forum/how-trolls-think-trollosophy-exposed-the-long-awai/

117 Comments

117 Comments


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[-] 3 points by Salaam86 (161) from Springfield, IL 3 years ago

The fact that there are posts like this proves that people are hearing our message, and responding to our movement...even if they don't want to. We are succeeding! America is finally listening! Let's keep it up!

[Deleted]

[-] 0 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

Simplesimon is a long-outed, simple-minded T R O L L... :)

[-] 0 points by IChowderDown (110) from Dallas, TX 2 years ago

I agree. If Trolls are paid by other self interests, think of is as progress. It kinda gives more purpose and proves we are on the right path.

[-] 0 points by ZenDogTroll (13032) from South Burlington, VT 2 years ago

and by engaging the trolls we do two things - we interact with their own system of belief, and we also help drain opposition resources.

both must be considered as primary tactics and goals if we are to be successful.

[-] 3 points by RockyJ (208) 3 years ago

"NO YOU CAN'T!" needs to be changed to "HELL NO YOU CAN'T" as the Bonner yelled out to our first black President!

[-] 1 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 3 years ago

Absolutely, RockyJ, THANK YOU for pointing that out! I just made the correction AND felt inspired to do a little research, which led to another addtion, a quote by that great GOP humanist, Herman Cain. :)

[-] 1 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 3 years ago

And I just added a famous quote from the King of the Trolls himself, Rush Limbaugh, who said one day in response to an African-American caller : “Take that bone out of your nose and call me back.”

ANYONE ELSE OUT THERE have any other juicy quotes we could incorporate in this very first COMPENDIUM OF TROLLOSOPHY?

Don't be shy, this is a work in progress...

[-] 1 points by JadedCitizen (4277) 2 years ago

"You work three jobs? … Uniquely American, isn't it? I mean, that is fantastic that you're doing that." —G.Bush to a divorced mother of three, Omaha, Nebraska, Feb. 4, 2005

A fine Bushism. No troll list is complete without one.

or maybe this one, probably my favority-one,

"You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror." --G.Bush interview with CBS News' Katie Couric, Sept. 6, 2006

[-] 0 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

Thank you so much, JadedCitizen, those two Bushisms are gems! I'm preparing Part Two of the world's first COMPENDIUM OF TROLLOSOPHY, so all contributions are most welcome : keep 'em comin'... :)

[-] 0 points by ZenDogTroll (13032) from South Burlington, VT 2 years ago

well, there is corporations are people too but it does seem kinda mild compared to the rest.

[-] -1 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

THANK YOU, "ZenDog", I just added your quote to the "revised and expanded" edition of the "Compendium of Trollosophy", along with a quote from Fox News on pepper spray. Cheers!

[-] 0 points by ZenDogTroll (13032) from South Burlington, VT 2 years ago

cool

[-] 2 points by ZenDogTroll (13032) from South Burlington, VT 2 years ago

chaos is coming, Koch-suckers!!!

hehe*

tweet that . . . .

Oh wait - wrong list . . .

[-] 2 points by Puzzlin (2898) 2 years ago

Wow, MickeyD, that one from him is mind boggling.

requote here:

"I keep god in a trunk in my basement. Every so often, I take his corpse out and have sex with it."

I guess this puts him into the "Shock Effect" Troll category. It's just plain weird and gross. No wonder he comes up all kinds of names and characterizations for us throughout these threads. This one is classic for sure. The stranger part is what we don't know about this person. What really is driving that fire in him against us.

They all throw around words like their rag dolls. Yet our very constitution is written very eloquently with these very same words by our founding father Thomas Jefferson. Some of those words will be forever etched into our minds as it gives us hope.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed;

[-] 2 points by MattLHolck (16833) from San Diego, CA 3 years ago

lol

[-] 2 points by blkflg (98) 3 years ago

What do u do when your movement is losing momentum? You fan the fires with trolling. Some here have labeled me as a troll and they are right but I am only doing my job. What job is that, you ask? Maybe you should ask the "leaders" of OWS. I am a paid troll, paid to stoke the protest fires in what is fast becoming a faltering and failing protest. I was approached to become a paid troll while posting under the name AntiCorp which I am sure some of you recognize. So yes, I am a troll but a troll just doing my job for OWS and earning an honest buck.....depending on how u look at it. You'll see me here again under a different name as I have been given access to change my log in at any time. Just thought you should know who your real enemies are and where some of the donated monies are going.

[-] 1 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 3 years ago

L M A O

Stay out of the streets, "blkflg", you are a ONE-MAN-RIOT !!!!!!!!!

P.S. Thanks for the laughs, I had a hard day, I needed that to unwind... :o)

[-] 1 points by blkflg (98) 3 years ago

Thanks.....just trying to let the people of OWS know what is going on behind the scenes.

[-] 0 points by IChowderDown (110) from Dallas, TX 2 years ago

Everybody knows what shit smells like, and you're not paid with anyone that supports and or has a neutral position in the movement.

[-] 1 points by blkflg (98) 2 years ago

ok.......hmmmmmm

[-] 2 points by MadAsHellInTX (598) from Shepherd, TX 3 years ago

LMAO! Fuckin' awesome, the "Koch-sucking weasels" ending was especially funny.

[-] 0 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 3 years ago

Looks like THE KING OF THE TROLLS himself, Rush Limbaugh is in a panic!!!

Read "Why Rush Limbaugh Is Freaking Out About Occupy Wall Street" here:

http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/blogs/taibblog/why-rush-limbaugh-is-freaking-out-about-occupy-wall-street-20111018

[-] 2 points by MadAsHellInTX (598) from Shepherd, TX 3 years ago

Oh yeah! I read that article. Rush and Glenn Beck are such friggin' idiots; anyone with half a brain can see right through their nonsense. I think that says a lot about their audience.

[-] 1 points by Gileos (309) 2 years ago

Funny that everything they say about this trash is true.

[-] 0 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 3 years ago

I have to admit... I was laughing so hard writing this post that I nearly peed in my pants!!!

[-] 1 points by suyabaa01 (244) from Milford, CT 2 years ago

It's not only funny. It's brilliantly funny. I treasured this link.

[-] 0 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

Thank you for that, suyabaa01, I appreciate it.

If you should come across any "gems of troll unwisdom", please post them here as I am preparing a Part Two of the world's very first COMPENDIUM OF TROLLOSOPHY.... :)

[-] 0 points by Dazz (10) 3 years ago

Well then you must have severe bowel problems. That, and you may also have some kind of mental disability to want to blurt that statement you just typed out on a public forum.

[-] 1 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 3 years ago

Ooooooh! In addition to having a lousy sense of humor, Monsieur is very puritanical, is he not????

[-] 1 points by Dazz (10) 3 years ago

Ah, I see a OWS protestor listened at school (unlike the many others)! Well done! But unfortunately, you lose points for supporting the OWS movement.

[-] 1 points by JesseHeffran (3903) 3 years ago

I rather be on the side with a sense of humor, and not on the side that is morbid and cruel, whether they are right or wrong. Have a nice day and remember it is OK to smile.

[-] 1 points by marco01 (6) 3 years ago

How so? We're not in the 1%, are you?

[-] 1 points by JadedCitizen (4277) 2 years ago

Trolls think? When did this happen?

[-] 0 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

LOL I must admit that is indeed an oxymoron..

Paid trolls do not actually think - they QUOTE other people who think FOR them. That's why they are so uncreative and repetitive, even in their insults... :)

[-] 1 points by JadedCitizen (4277) 2 years ago

Troll brain in action.

pete and repete we're sitting on a fence. pete fell off. who's left? repete. pete and repete we're sitting on a fence. pete fell off. who's left? repete. pete and repete we're sitting on a fence. pete fell off. who's left? repete. pete and repete we're sitting on a fence. pete fell off. who's left? repete. pete and repete we're sitting on a fence. pete fell off. who's left? repete.

[-] 1 points by Ratso (16) 2 years ago

You know what they say....If you fall off a horse you outa get back on....That way when you fall off again you might feel the opposite of the way you felt the first time you fell off....or something....

[-] 1 points by XXAnonymouSXX (455) 2 years ago

How about this dandy from the Newter to OWS protestors. "Go get a job right after you take a bath." What a smug douchebag this guy is.

[-] 1 points by Windsofchange (1044) 2 years ago

You know I read somewhere that trolls get the same high trolling that alcoholics get when they drink. This is interesting.

So we have a bunch of raging trolls on this site!!!

[-] 0 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

It's hard to imagine how anyone can get high spewing hatred and lies... Many of the trolls on this forum are actually PAID to distract, disrupt and destroy meaningful conversation.

[-] 1 points by Windsofchange (1044) 2 years ago

Oh, definitely agree about the paid detractor thing. I was on another forum on Thanksgiving Day and an article about OWS was being discussed. There was so much negativity and hatred. We were called everything under the sun, even terrorists. A bunch of posters said that we should all be round up and shot dead. I got so mad. I asked them if they were getting paid time and a half for trolling on Thanksgiving Day. Well, I got attacked from every angle. The hate was off the charts.

It is so sad that people can't find a true job that doesn't call for disrupting a movement's forum. How do they sleep at night?

[-] 1 points by TripleTittyTheTroll (1) from Salt Lake City, UT 2 years ago

I think, therefore I troll.

[-] 1 points by stuartchase (861) 2 years ago

That's funny. If you have time would you please look at this and consider supporting it? Thank you for your time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rp4fDOjdOVg

http://occupywallst.org/forum/why-i-like-trolls/

[-] 1 points by epa1nter (4650) from Rutherford, NJ 2 years ago

I'm saving this whole thread as a PDF. Best and funniest read in a LOOOONNNNNG time. Thanks, TIOUAISE

[-] 0 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

You are most welcome, epa1inter.

If you should come across any "gems of troll unwisdom", please post them here as I am preparing a Part Two of the world's first COMPENDIUM OF TROLLOSOPHY.... :)

[-] 1 points by ZenDogTroll (13032) from South Burlington, VT 2 years ago

bwa hahaha

. . . .koch-suckers . . .

hahaha!

[-] 1 points by VERUM (108) 2 years ago

Hmmm.... wouldn't Koch Brother lobbyist be considered "Koch Whores"?

[-] 1 points by ZenDogTroll (13032) from South Burlington, VT 2 years ago

LoL!

That's the spirit!

[-] 1 points by JohnsonJaimes (260) from Sanibel, FL 2 years ago

MikeyD is something else all right. That quote is too much. A worthy and wordy adversary.

[-] 1 points by JohnsonJaimes (260) from Sanibel, FL 2 years ago

This is rich, I love it. let's get it back on the first page and keep it there. Maybe edit the intro a bit, some mental midgets (no slur meant towards little people) are taxed by having to read too much. But the bumper-sticker humor in bite sized pieces might be just the right thing to provoke a good response.

[-] 0 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

Thank you for your appreciative and insightful comment, JohnsonJaimes!

If you should come across any "gems of troll unwisdom", please post them here as I am preparing a Part Two of the world's very first COMPENDIUM OF TROLLOSOPHY.... :)

[-] 1 points by StevenRoyal (490) from Dania Beach, FL 3 years ago
[-] 1 points by teociontu (29) from Bucharest, Bucuresti 3 years ago

you, you are good!

[-] 0 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

Thank you, I appreciate that!

Do you have TROLLS in Romania too? Are they as outrageous as our American Trolls?

[-] 1 points by thebeastchasingitstail (1912) 3 years ago

I'm stealing all your slogans.

Wait, it has to be said in a meme - all your slogans r belong to us.

[Deleted]

[-] 1 points by barthw52 (41) 3 years ago

This is where the internet and the unknowing public meet.

[-] 0 points by MASTERdBATER (15) 2 years ago

The term TROLL is mostly used as a description on the internet, but it was not derived from the under the bridge troll but from the action to troll (like fishing)

[-] 0 points by NonParticipant (151) 2 years ago

Protesting the Protesters. Occupying the Occupiers. Exercising the same rights OWS says is it exercising.

Please send payment for protesting OWS to: PO Box 2011 Are You Kidding Me, USA

I charge $500/hr and I look forward to my payment soon.

[-] 0 points by Gileos (309) 2 years ago

You call all these other people trolls and cant see that your the worst of all. Idiot.

[-] 1 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

You mean "you're" the worst of all, you poor, grammatically-challenged little muppet you... :)

[-] 0 points by Gileos (309) 2 years ago

Keep proving my point. Youd think if you knew so much about trolls youd know how to not be one. lol!

[-] 1 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

"You'd" (twice in the same sentence). May I recommend Troll Remedial English?

[-] 0 points by Gileos (309) 2 years ago

And you keep doing the same thing that embarrases you and reveals you to anyone that thinks for themselves. I am beginning to think you may be a plant to make these people look dumb.

[-] 1 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

"... a plant to make these people look dumb.".

I don't need to MAKE these people look dumb. They do a FANTASTIC job on their own!

[-] 0 points by Gileos (309) 2 years ago

Sarcasm is hard to discern in text, are you admitting that you think the people suporting this movement are dumb and that they have made themselves look that way without any help from these so calld trolls?

[-] 1 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

Must I spoonfeed you at every turn? "these people" = THE TROLLS such as yourself!!!

[-] 1 points by Gileos (309) 2 years ago

Well quit twisting my words, you only make yourself look dumb to any thinking person, when I originally said these people, a simple context check could have told you I mean the supporters of the movement. Damn man, for all your insults about intelligence and grammar, you sure know how to screw yourself just by talking.

[-] 0 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

"a simple context check could have told you" LOL You're trying to excuse your crappy command of the language by accusing ME of misunderstanding you!!!!!!

Bye, bye, little muppet.... HAPPY TROLLING!

[-] 1 points by Gileos (309) 2 years ago

Quit pretending

[-] 0 points by Thrasymaque (-2138) 2 years ago

How about - "You're a troll because you criticize Occupy!"

WARNING: On this site, I have been called a troll, a psyops capable of mind infiltration, and a government mole because I criticize certain aspects of Occupy. Please, be careful.

[Removed]

[Removed]

[-] 0 points by stevo (314) 2 years ago

HEE HEE. we called you a troll. Hee hee.

[-] 0 points by Perspective (-243) 2 years ago

You realize that this could be construed as racism by all those playing trolls in World of Warcraft? :-)

[-] 0 points by hahaha (-41) 2 years ago

Now that is just having TOO much time on your hands.

[-] 0 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

And so do YOU, apparently, if you took the time to read and reply.... :)

[-] 0 points by ChristopherABrownART5 (46) from Santa Barbara, CA 3 years ago

I think you are catching on. I would say they are infiltrating traitors to America disrupting the ineffective socialistic movement, which is easy because they have no strategic focus under law. Double meaning to that; "socialistic movement": only people from your social group can have worthy ideas and only euro socialism is acceptable.---

The name "troll" means to troll as in fishing. With fishing you have a hook and a line. These tools have lots of hooks, but no line of reasoning to support their presence here. If they answered you when asking them, "Why are you here." They cannot reasonably answer. To do so would be admitting that they are traitors working to usurp the constitution, that is the only thing that will make sense.-----

Accordingly, education is critical.

A effort each evening to create a web conference to discuss Article 5 is beginning.--

http://www.articlevmeeting.info/

Comprehensive strategy.---

http://algoxy.com/ows/strategyofamerica.html

[-] 0 points by BeheadedOne (23) from Queens, NY 3 years ago

roflmfao!!! Well done!

[-] 0 points by RockyJ (208) 3 years ago

LMAO, I should know better to not feed the trolls but some times its just for the lultz!

[-] -1 points by stevo (314) 2 years ago

Thanks for wasting another hour discussing ...NOTHING. Now go..time to collect the shit buckets

[-] -1 points by RexDiamond (585) from Idabel, OK 2 years ago

I really don't get why you people are so worried. Is this forum the movement? How many posting here are actually camping out right now?

[-] 1 points by ZenDogTroll (13032) from South Burlington, VT 2 years ago

I would have camped out - I went down in support, but I've still got stuff to do to get ready for snow - and now we have snow and I am still not ready . . .

But yes, I went in support, and I broke the city curfew regarding park usage past midnight. More than once.