Posted 8 years ago on Oct. 21, 2011, 7:50 p.m. EST by TIOUAISE
This content is user submitted and not an official statement
Yikes! This morning I made a wrong move and fell off my horse, nearly cracked my skull and was suddenly blinded by the light of a trollface shining in the disc of the sun...
Whew!!! I suddenly KNEW in my heart of hearts that the much-maligned trolls had been correct all along! So I swore then and there to stop persecuting them and to in fact JOIN the furry little critters!
O my brothers! o my sisters! I also realized that you valiant, hard-working, cuddly little muppets need to get with the times and form your own MOVEMENT!
I even thought of a name for it : TOTAL KON-TROLL!!! D'ya like it?
Of course, you cute little imbeciles will need a PROGRAM. First, you want to get Obama to "move on"... even though he's quite the troll himself, actually. I mean, he just authorized the assassination of a 16-year old U.S. citizen without a trial ... not too shabby for a hopey-changey-commie dummy, huh!!!??? http://www.salon.com/2011/10/20/the_killing_of_awlakis_16_year_old_son/singleton/
Second, as soon as you're in power, you want to abolish the "Constitution", the "Bill of Rights" and all such commie liberal bullshit. Won't be needed no more, 'cause the Republic will become a no-nonsense, pre-Magna-Carta TROLLDOM, under the Troll of Trolls, King Rush (Limbaugh) and his loyal 1% gang.
The remaining 99% will only be tolerated as SERFS, barely eking out a miserable existence and there to do ALL our bidding... Just think of all those cute half-starvin' serf chicks we silly, sex-obsessed, impotent, Viagra-burping guy-trolls will get to choose from!!! OO-WEE!
I do realize you dimwits have a hard time with spelling and grammar, so I hereby offer my services as your... Propaganda-Fuehrer! Our logo would of course be that "trollface" I saw in my vision and just posted on Wikipedia. And right off the top of my head, here are a few slogans you might wanna start splashing on some posters...
"TROLL POWER!!!" "TROLL POWER!!!" "TROLL POWER!!!"
"Fuck Occupy Wall Street!" (troll rap song on YouTube)
"END the fight against corruption!"
"Honesty is the WORST policy - strictly for losers!"
"Lliberalism is a mental disorder." (Thank you, Karl99, for posting this pearl of unwisdom on the forum November 14.)
"CITIZENS UNITED against Social Justice!"
"Congress should rely on America’s wealthy to take care of income disparity!" (Thank you, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) on Fox News on Halloween Day 2011)
"Common decency is WAAAY overrated"
" 'You The People' SUCK!!!!"
"HELL NO YOU CAN'T!" (Thank you, John Boehner, House speech 03/21/10)
"Be kind... adopt a billionaire!"
“Take that bone out of your nose and call me back.” (Thank you, Rush Limbaugh, o uncontested King of the Trolls, for that candid response to a female African-American caller)
"Poor? Sick? Unemployed? TOUGH!!!"
"Try misery - it builds character!"
"Ban the baby bottle - no more FREE HANDOUTS for the little suckers!"
"Let the children of the poor clean the toilets in their schools" (Thank you, Newt Gingrich, you truly are the Mother Teresa of the GOP and deserve to walk around with a halo!!! - CBS, Dec 1, 2011)
"Padlock all foodbanks - Let 'em STAAARVE!"
"If You Don't Have A Job And You're Not Rich, Blame Yourself!' (Thank you, Herman Cain! Wall Street Journal, October 5)
"BLAME the poor, make'em feel ashamed - that's the American way!"
"IGNORE thy neigbor!"
"Screw all those losers who 'thirst and hunger for Justice'!"
"Social Justice is a scam and a lie that has been pushed by the left for decades." (Thank you, "The1capitalist", for this pearl of unwisdom posted on this forum November 5)
"Jesus was a no-good bleeding-heart LIBERAL! Crucify the hippie!"
"Hate is good - love is for SISSIES!"
"Genocide, rape and plunder are what made America GREAT!!!"
"Morality is for suckers!"
"Greed is good". (Thank you, Gordon Gecko, for that immortal line in Oliver Stone's "Wall Street")
"IN GREED WE TRUST"
"Corporations are people too" (Thank you, Supreme Court of the United States AND Mitt Romney, who reminded a heckler in Iowa : "Corporations are people, my friend!" - August 11, 2011)
"There is no god but MONEY! Worship MAMMON!!!"
"WHO are we sworn to serve? MAMMON! MAMMON! MAMMON!"
"I keep god in a trunk in my basement. Every so often, I take his corpse out and have sex with it." (A genuine comment posted on this forum by "MikeyD")
“I mean, it's like a derivative of actual pepper. It's a food product, essentially.” (Thank you, Megyn Kelly of Fox News, for this OH SO enlightening comment on the use of pepper spray by UC Davis police against peaceful student protesters, from the November 21 broadcast of "The O’Reilly Factor".)
"Truth is a LIE and lies are the TRUTH!"
"Evil is good and good is evil : THAT is the summation of our TROLLOSOPHY!"
OK now, ya bunch of furry little Koch-sucking weasels, let's hear it for "TROLL POWER!!!" "TROLL POWER!!!" "TROLL POWER!!!"
(UPDATE : Do not miss PART TWO of "the world's first Compendium of Trollosophy" published here: http://occupywallst.org/forum/how-trolls-think-trollosophy-exposed-the-long-awai/