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Forum Post: Yet another "miracle" GMO food brought to you by MONINSANITO

Posted 2 years ago on Nov. 19, 2011, 2:43 p.m. EST by TIOUAISE (2526)
This content is user submitted and not an official statement

Ready for... "immediate release".

FUNDERFOODS' FARTLESS BROCOLI ...  IT'S A GAS!!!

Are you an avid brocoli eater tired of being told that your high-methane flatulence is contributing to indoor pollution AND global warming?

Move over, pre-cut, pre-washed, old-style Matante-Marie-France produce-aisle brocoli!   Introducing pre-cooked, pre-digested, pre-burped, de-farted brocoli...

FUNDERFOODS' FARTLESS BROCOLI

Guaranteed fartless... OR your money back!

Produced from an ingenious genetic combination of brocoli with Beano-type enzymes that required 13 years of painstaking research and testing in the labs of Harvard University's School of Putrition, FUNDERFOODS' FARTLESS BROCOLI offers you ALL the benefits of healthy brocoli MINUS the social stigma and climate change perils related to traditional brocoli.

Now you can have your brocoli AND keep your friends too!  FUNDERFOODS...  a division of Moninsanito.... bringing you the inedible food of the future NOW!

WARNING: DO NOT INGEST!!! This is not old-fashioned "food" meant to be eaten, this is Moninsanito's super-high-tech "pseudofood of the future", meant to be prudently disposed of in the toilet bowl.

Directions: 1 - Put on vinyl gloves 2 - Open package carefully. Avoid inhaling fumes 3 - Slowly pour contents into toilet bowl 4 - Flush immediately.

If ingested, contact your nearest Poison Control Center.

11 Comments

11 Comments


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[-] 1 points by OTP (-203) from Tampa, FL 1 year ago

Fartless Broccoli?

[-] 1 points by spook (3) 2 years ago

Tiquaise, you clearly had as much fun writing this as myself reading it - and yes I admit, I have free time for frivolities... But a good laugh, anyway! Read it because I distrust Monsanto and their creepy products.

[-] 1 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

Yes, I must admit I had a ball writing this... and I figured we all need a little comic relief on this forum once in a while. :)

[-] 1 points by ciavlad (85) 2 years ago

Do you want to get rid of cunning people !? Vote petition on the Internet : http://wh.gov/jkl

[-] 1 points by AuditElmerFudd (259) 2 years ago

You clearly have too much free time, mate.

[-] 0 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

And SO DO YOU, apparently, since you took the time to read my post... :)

A little comic relief - especially at the expense of "the most hated corporation in the world" - never hurt anybody, mate.

[-] 1 points by AuditElmerFudd (259) 2 years ago

I read it because I hate broccoli. ;)

[-] 0 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

Just like George Bush!

[-] 1 points by AuditElmerFudd (259) 2 years ago

I guess he got terrible gas also (and I'm not talking about the below ground kind).

[-] 1 points by TIOUAISE (2526) 2 years ago

Well he gave ME terrible gas throughout his presidency... :)

[-] 0 points by ronjj (-241) 2 years ago

Really - HAHA.

BUT does it really make any difference if your broccoli comes from FunderFoods or Thunderfoods??