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Forum Post: Rights - Poem

Posted 2 years ago on Feb. 6, 2012, 5:25 p.m. EST by ykaz (1) from New York, NY
This content is user submitted and not an official statement

You have the right to/ remain silent/ to sit down/ and watch tv/

You have the right to/ support democracy/ in the Arab World/ and judge their rulers/

You have the right to/ walk on the street,/ quickly, quietly, with/ everyone else/

You have the right to/ not be detained for/ more than 48 hours/ without a charge/

Anything you say / or do or don’t/ can and will be used/ against you/

You have the right to/ remain silent/ now sit down/ shut up and/ watch tv./

Yuri Kazakov 15/10/11

This method of posting doesn't allow for too much formatting.

This is a poem I wrote a long time ago back in October after attending the #ows movement on Times Square. I wasn't really sure about posting it until now. Enjoy, comment, critique.

4 Comments

4 Comments


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[-] 1 points by ykaz (1) from New York, NY 2 years ago

Thank you!

[-] 2 points by ZenDog (20533) from South Burlington, VT 2 years ago

Yup, I'd make the line breaks a little differently, but I like it.

It isn't a pretty poem, but neither is the subject.

.

  • You have the right
    • to remain silent
    • now sit down
    • shut up
    • and watch tv.

.

Yessss indeed.

I like it. But I think everyone around here already knows - I'm a little twisted.

[-] 1 points by ZenDog (20533) from South Burlington, VT 2 years ago

I would make the first line of each stanza end on an accented foot -

  • you have the right

When you end with the last syllable on a high note, it makes it more forceful, which I think in this case is exactly what you want.

  • You have the right
    • to remain silent
    • to sit down
    • and watch tv

If you say the first line with a bit of anger, you almost can't help but say the next three as a sneer.