Posted 9 years ago on Nov. 10, 2011, 5:26 p.m. EST by Thrasymaque
This content is user submitted and not an official statement
Dr. Ana Krüntz is a savant non-pareil who has dedicated her life to understanding human intelligence. Born in a rural town near Köln, Germany, Krüntz grew up in a time when intelligence was considered a purely genetic trait. She was learning the theory of Hitler's Eugenics in private school while Jewish children where experiencing it in camps.
In 2003, Krüntz made a starling discovery. She found a NNOIQD (non-negigable overall IQ dip) in the American population that started in 1991 and peaked in 1998. It took three years of hard work before her and her team identified the cause as the Jerry Springer Show. Several books later, and the JSD (Jerry Springer Dip) has become a staple theory in social sciences. Environment does affect intelligence.
A month ago, shear panic was felt in the offices of American Intelligence Development as yet another NNOIQD was noted on the real-time analysis charts that measure intelligence by analyzing Facebook posts. Since then, Dr. Krüntz has been exploring the hypothesis that the IQ level is being pulled down by young Americans who were babies during the Jerry Springer Show heyday and who might have been in front of the TV a tad too often.
"Nothing's sure. We're still exploring other avenues, but it looks like many people in their mid-20's might have suffered from too much baby TV exposure in regards to the Jerry Springer Show. We're not saying all OWS protestors are affected, but the numbers could be significant." says the Dr. from her $1,500,000 loft in Manhattan.
Critic Dr. Al Summers claims Dr, Küntz is a fraud paid by Conservative Republicans to smear the campaign of Occupy. "I'm absolutely flabbergasted by the lengths some people will go to to discourage these young kids. Truth is, there's no IQ dip, and the protests are being held by young fresh balanced minds. I'm one of the 99%, and so should you."