Forum Post: In Response To: Why Are Canadians Happier?

Canadians are dorks. Who cares if they're happy, they're still stupid? Cows are happy, pigs are happy, so what, Canadians are happy! Correction, what you've been reading as happy, is actually a thick veneer of Canadian dull. They are a national non-factor. I mean, think about it, does anyone really care what Canada thinks? The talent all leaves. Celine Dion? She's in Vegas. What does that tell you? Happy, no. Mediocre, yes. Provincial, yes. Smug, oh God, if I have to listen to another Canadian recite the national poetry: loonies and toonies, loonies and toonies ... When does anyone ever say cuttin-edge and Canada in the same sentence? And do really you think Canadians are polite? Ask them how they feel about Hong-couver? I mean, the white ones, (the true Canadians). Canadians are bougie little shits suppressing their angry over not being Americans. They are hyper-aware that no one takes them seriously, but are too dumb to do anything about it and too proud to admit it. So what can they do? They just smile, eh? I mean, they beat the Americans at hockey, that one fucking time, and 34 million Canadians literally shit their poutine. Oh, Canada! (sing) I can tell you this for a fact because I am Canadian. We are not happy. Nor are we polite. So, fuck you, America, you hockey-playing-losers! There is no Shangri-La here, nor anywhere. Stop looking around for the easy way out and clean up your fucking front yard! Because, while the whole world loves to hate you and pretend that we do not need you and are just so much better in practically every way...well...truth is...honestly? We all want to live in Vegas. I'm Canadian. I support this film: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=amNO_QJzaQ8 call it like you see it, eh?