Forum Post: Gingrich promises US moon colony by 2020
Posted 12 years ago on Jan. 25, 2012, 8:52 p.m. EST by TheTrollSlayer
(347)
from Kingsport, TN
This content is user submitted and not an official statement
Thought people here could use a laugh
Be sure to read the comments
Maybe he could settle it with ex wives
Press release, Jan 25, 2020:
Newt Gingrich was released from prison today after serving 18 of his 20 year sentence for having been found guilty of bigamy. His 7th wife was not present to greet him. Undisclosed sources report that the 7th Mrs. Gingrich has separated from her husband after he called her at her hospital room to demand a divorce after discovering she had Parkinson's disease.
Upon his release, Mr. Gingrich said he was delighted to know that the crew had safely landed on the Moon. He also expressed regret that, after the Republican controlled congress passed his Contract on America and slashed spending, there was no money to completely fuel the rockets, stranding the Astronauts on the lunar surface.
The mission had been one of Mr. Gingrich's most cherished projects. He was always interested in space exploration, he said, if not in reality at least in his brain, and was also delighted that a new generation of nuclear missiles pointed at every nation on earth was now operational in the Sea of Tranquility.
Mr. Gingrich made no mention of his 6th wife, who was among the crew on the moon. PNASACORP (Privatized National Aeronautics and Space Administration Corporation, LLC) estimated they have no oxygen left. It would have been unprofitable to supply the astronauts more oxygen than what was required under the contract to deliver and set up the weapons, a spokesman said. It was reported that a gasping 6th Mrs. Gingrich was heard saying "Muthafuka" before her radio went silent.
LOL
The hits just keep com'n :)
The ultimate gated community!
Oh, that is so funny. When there are 13,000 people living on the moon he will allow them to petition to become the 51st state! What a visionary.....in his own mind.
I cant stop laughing about this
Me neither. Now he compares himself to Abraham Lincoln, JFK, and I can hardly type it without cracking up, the Wright Brothers! The man is sick. Thank you so much for the laugh. I needed it today.
My pleasure, it made my evening as well
Now look for Obama to promise he'll drill for oil on Mars... :)
We knew about politicians "promising the moon", but Newt really outdid himself by adding a colony... A colony of REPUBLICANS-ONLY, I assume? LOL