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Forum Post: Cure for WallStreet?

Posted 2 years ago on March 22, 2012, 1:03 a.m. EST by shoozTroll (17632)
This content is user submitted and not an official statement

Here's a way to bring integrity back to WallStreet, and make all the real investors a ton 'o" cash!.

With all the jobs we're losing to robots and outsoursing, it's time for the highest salaries to "share the pain".

For all of you who pick on teachers, construction workers, garbage men, the old lady at 7-11, the waiters and waitress's and folks who lost even those jobs, because they just weren't good enough.

It behooves me to inform you that chimpanzees, in many tests, have proven to be up to 95% better at picking funds and stocks!!!!

And they'll work for a bunch of cavendish!!!

Most of the rest can be done by computer!!! .

NO more monkey shines with chimps!!!

http://www.marketwatch.com/story/paul-farrells-commentary-chimp-99-champ-makes-monkey-of-wall-street

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1242575/Lusha-monkey-outperforms-94-Russia-bankers-investment-portfolio.html

http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=1665&dat=19930908&id=83tPAAAAIBAJ&sjid=QiUEAAAAIBAJ&pg=3840,1823353

Could your CEO be next?

47 Comments

47 Comments


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[-] 4 points by GirlFriday (17435) 2 years ago

Ah......that is great.

[-] 3 points by RayLansing (99) 2 years ago

Pure comedy!! Oh boy Shooz, looks like you enraged some bankers with this exposure. Don't you know bankers don't like it when you prove how unskilled their occupation is.

Note that chimps also wouldn't have an understanding to defraud others like the current con artists in Wallstreet. A big plus in my opinion.

[-] 5 points by shoozTroll (17632) 2 years ago

Well, when they have to belittle and cut pay and benefits to people who do the actual work, to insure a constantly rising profit stream, I feel they have outlived the usefulness of their paradigm.

Even some among them have admitted that the public's teet, is running dry.

http://wendellpotter.com/2012/03/the-end-of-health-insurance-as-we-know-it/

[-] 2 points by Nevada1 (4784) 2 years ago

Hi shooz, Good post. Best Regards

[-] 3 points by shoozTroll (17632) 2 years ago

Thanks for the bump.

It's truly astounding how filled with false self worth these people are.

As though money=intelligence and worth.

It doesn't.

[Removed]

[-] 0 points by RedJazz43 (2757) 2 years ago

I personally don't care if they have integrity or not. I just want them to go away. The New York Stock Exchange is the Winter Palace of our time and I can't wait until our movement is big enough that we are able to storm it and send them all running.

[-] 2 points by shoozTroll (17632) 2 years ago

I vote we replace them with chimpanzees!!!!

http://occupywallst.org/forum/cure-for-wallstreet/

[Removed]

[-] -3 points by leonardsova (-24) 2 years ago

Want the economy to improve? get the unions out. This video shows teachers "praising" Gov Walker for what he did

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmrsboMd9Hc

[-] 3 points by shoozTroll (17632) 2 years ago

Do you always post off topic?

It's a sign of confusion. Shall I find you some vids of teachers cursing Walker?

[-] -3 points by leonardsova (-24) 2 years ago

I know it is off topic but I would also like to ad that now some students are showing up at the Capitol building where teachers protest once a week. The students are all chanting in favor for Walker and drowning out the noise from the whinny teachers.

[-] 4 points by shoozTroll (17632) 2 years ago

Sorry, not seeing it in the news.

There is a report on fraternity racism though. You want to go there?

http://www.channel3000.com/index.html

[-] -3 points by DKAtoday (26307) from Coon Rapids, MN 2 years ago

3/22/2012 Hey ALL. Could this be a start to proper regulation. See if the Industry will recognize and respond or if it does not respond continue the push through legal recourse. I say continue the push while waiting to see how the industry responds.


http://sanders.enews.senate.gov/mail/util.cfm?mailaction=clickthru&gpiv=2100085686.557234.200&gen=1&mailing_linkid=48100

If you can not access the video that comes up on the link. CLICK on the video link on the left side of the page you opened and it will allow you access to all of the videos listed there.


http://sanders.enews.senate.gov/mail/util.cfm?mailaction=clickthru&gpiv=2100085686.557234.200&gen=1&mailing_linkid=48099

Pain at the Gas Pump

At a time when the supply of oil and gas is high while demand is low, Bernie is pressing the Commodity Futures Trading Commission (CFTC) to stop Wall Street speculators from artificially jacking up oil prices. Bernie has introduced legislation to end the absurdity of having over 80 percent of the oil futures market controlled by Wall Street speculators – not the companies who really use the oil. In Vermont, the average price for a gallon of regular was up to $3.84 – 16 cents more a gallon than just one month ago.

CFTC Commissioner: Speculators force F-150 drivers to pay $700 more for gas » Watch Bernie discuss oil speculators »

[-] -3 points by DKAtoday (26307) from Coon Rapids, MN 2 years ago

shooz.....pst hey.........shooz.

I think you made someone feel decidedly uncomfortable.

No no don't look.

Yeah yeah OK look down but make it quick.

Yeah I know. Funny yes? OOps no wait it is above now. I think it thinks it's a banker or wants others to think it is.

OK ok wait for it look up just above your last comment.

See it. It's still looks rattled about no monkey shines.

[-] -3 points by DKAtoday (26307) from Coon Rapids, MN 2 years ago

Damn it the little bastard just keeps jumping around it's back below us again.

Hey!

You don't think?

I mean......is it possible?

You think maybe it's a shaved ape and the market was ahead of this idea the whole time?

[+] -4 points by ibanker (-99) 2 years ago

Now since you are stupid I will have to explain it to you.

This is 1999 story and the monkey selected Internet stocks and not just any stock. In 1999 with the internet bubble at it's best, internet stocks were skyrocketing so to begin with the monkey had a narrow range of already high performing stocks. Then it selected among those. No doubt it beat lot of other indices.

However, what this article does not tell you is how many of those companies survived post 2001.

Besides, a money manager selects stocks from across multiple industries. Also equity is just one form of investment, a portfolio manager would select from among various types of assets only one of which is equities. Also equity trading has largely been taken over by computers now.

[-] 4 points by shoozTroll (17632) 2 years ago

That was only one, and remember the monkeys didn't go to Yale.

http://www.bloggingstocks.com/2007/01/17/the-stock-picking-monkey-strikes-again/

[-] -3 points by ibanker (-99) 2 years ago

Good then. Sit with a red pen and start investing yourself while I make good money here on Wall St.

[-] 4 points by shoozTroll (17632) 2 years ago

Chimpanzee's can do better!

You need a pay cut. You're way over paid.

With out the middle and top men, think of how much the individual investors could make.

Just pay out all that useless overhead in cavendish!

[+] -4 points by ibanker (-99) 2 years ago

Which is why I am urging you to sit with a red pen and newspaper and start picking stocks.

[-] 4 points by shoozTroll (17632) 2 years ago

I've already worked 45+ years. It's the future I'm thinkin' about.

We don't need all those expensive, semi-human, corrupt, neoplexic traders.

There's no chance of monkeyshines, with chimps!

I wonder if we could teach one to run the FED too?

[+] -4 points by ibanker (-99) 2 years ago

yes I am sure anyone who is smarter and makes more money than you is corrupt. Not surprised at all.

[-] 4 points by shoozTroll (17632) 2 years ago

What's makin' money have to do with being smart?

Chimpanzees do a better job than traders. It's that simple. You can be replaced. You're not that smart, You're just a well dressed BSin' salesman.

I actually built things for most of those 45+ years.

What did you do? Something a chimp can better?

You may be richer than me, but that sure don't make you smarter.

Corruption? There's more of them getting popped every day and that's just the ones who get caught.

Still want to paint that welfare queen that doesn't exist picture?.

The crooks do exist in your world.

Chimps can pick stocks, as good, or better than you!

[+] -4 points by ibanker (-99) 2 years ago

what did you build exactly? And your understanding of trading is very pedestrian. But anyways I dont expect a lot from a fool like you

[-] 2 points by shoozTroll (17632) 2 years ago

I expect even less from a guy who needs to make excuses for why chimps can do his job better than he can.

Tell me please, how there's no corruption in your field.

You should find something productive to do.

[+] -4 points by ibanker (-99) 2 years ago

I could tell you a lot of things but explaining stuff to a fool like you would be an insult to my intelligence. Which is why I would rather do something productive, something that makes me money, lots of money.

[-] 3 points by shoozTroll (17632) 2 years ago

You mean you could feed me a lot of salesman BS about how hard you work.

Just like Rube Goldberg, make a chimps work look complicated.

Because that's what you got out of your education.

What a waste. You should be paid in cavendish. It would be fitting.

[+] -5 points by ibanker (-99) 2 years ago

Dude, I make in a fortnight what you make in a year. That settles it. No go back to your pathetic existence. You are a failure.

[-] 4 points by shoozTroll (17632) 2 years ago

You don't actually make anything at all.

Your an overpaid salesman taking what you can from the labor of others, and proud of what you skim.

Forced to insult those you skim from.

Now that's pathetic and heartless.

[+] -5 points by ibanker (-99) 2 years ago

yeah keep telling yourself that. Might help you deal with your failure in life. Tell me how does it feel to fail at so many levels? First academically, then professionally, how does all that failure feel? How can you live with yourself being the disappointment that you are.

[-] 3 points by April (3196) 2 years ago

I'm sure the pigeon thing is quite humorous. But all this chimp and pigeon talk - we need to respect chimps and pigeons. In fact, I think chimps and pigeons get along quite well together. Maybe we could learn something from them.

[+] -5 points by ibanker (-99) 2 years ago

Well I don't think I need to respect fools. I have always had a low tolerance for stupidity.

[-] 3 points by April (3196) 2 years ago

oh come on now, we know you're not really a chimp.

This isn't the "I Love Wall Street" website ya know.

I seem to recall a little comment about "pigeons" yesterday.... : )

[-] 3 points by MattLHolck (16833) from San Diego, CA 2 years ago

Greg Smith Resigns and Spills The Beans on Goldman Sachs! Is OWS's message starting to resonate?

Mr. Smith went on to say that in the past year, "I have seen five different managing directors refer to their own clients as muppets [British for a stupid person]."

http://occupywallst.org/forum/greg-smith-resigns-and-spills-the-beans-on-goldman/

[-] -3 points by ibanker (-99) 2 years ago

Yeah that comment. I got that from twitter.com/gselevator and come to think of it they really look like pigeons. read it , its funny.

[-] 3 points by April (3196) 2 years ago

Don't be a bragger. It's rude. And, money isn't everything. I know there's a little humanity in you somewhere. Please find it and let it come out and play once in a while.

I know you feel you have to defend your industry. But it really isn't necessary. Wall Street is more powerful than God for God's sake. There are way more productive ways you could be contributing here. Wall Street doesn't need any help. But lots of other people do.

[-] -3 points by ibanker (-99) 2 years ago

he started it by comparing me to a chimp. As someone who graduated 6th in his class, I find that insulting.

[+] -4 points by TimSykes (-22) 2 years ago

8/10 traders lose all of their capital in todays market. In the 1990s I could pull out a newspaper, take a shit on the business section and invest in whatever companies my poo landed on and I would have made money.

Trading today is much more complicated than that. You basically need to be a mathematician and a computer programmer. But hey, if you want to take pride in building things then go ahead. But you do realize thats why you have no money. Jobs that require no intelligence tend to pay lower than jobs that actually require a real education.

[-] 4 points by shoozTroll (17632) 2 years ago

Chimpanzees do a better job!! Cheaper!

It was the mathematicians that screwed it all up, trying to do better than chimps!

Plus they suffer us with corruption.

That's not a problem with chimps. Talk about a waste of education.

You could have learned a useful trade, and the World would be a better place..

[-] -2 points by TimSykes (-22) 2 years ago

Yes because trading is as easy as picking indices from a pre screened set... But when it comes to real trading, nah its much more complicated, champ. You see, you have to know a thing or two about algorithms, technical analysis, and when to go short on a stock, and yada yada yada. Im pretty sure it would be easier to teach a chimp how to swing a hammer back and forth than it would be to teach him calculus

[-] 4 points by shoozTroll (17632) 2 years ago

Calculus?

You could have done something useful, like rocket science, advanced programing, architecture, instead of client scamming.

Chimps are doing a better job than you overpaid salesmen.

[-] -1 points by TimSykes (-22) 2 years ago

Why would I do that? This job is way more fun than those jobs, and the pay is a nice added bonus

[-] 3 points by shoozTroll (17632) 2 years ago

Fun working for the mafia?

Watch who's toes you step on.

[-] 0 points by TimSykes (-22) 2 years ago

Yea I imagine working in the mafia would be a fun job too

[+] -4 points by DKAtoday (26307) from Coon Rapids, MN 2 years ago

You can not see the irony in your own statement can you?

Let's see what if any significant change has occured to make the market today more of a craps shoot.

Hhmmm.

OH I know!

Repeal of Glass-Stegal.

Huh.

Who knew?

Right?


-2 points by TimSykes (-19) 8 hours ago

8/10 traders lose all of their capital in todays market. In the 1990s I could pull out a newspaper, take a shit on the business section and invest in whatever companies my poo landed on and I would have made money.

[-] 0 points by TimSykes (-22) 2 years ago

What firm do you trade for?

[+] -4 points by ibanker (-99) 2 years ago

Sorry bro cant tell you that because these guys might quote me or start another protest outside our office or even get the media involved. Suffice it to say the firm is quite well known and much hated by these folks. And I trade in fixed income securities.

[-] -2 points by TimSykes (-22) 2 years ago

Good man, almost took that route myself. Decided to trade commodities instead

[+] -4 points by ibanker (-99) 2 years ago

oh, then these hippies would hate you even more. They think rise in prices of gas and food are due to commodity trading..