Forum Post: Bejeezus feeds the 5000

I've always wondered how those that call themselves Christians, but yet ignore christ's call for social justice and compassion for their fellow man, could justify this... So I went to a mega church and read one of their bibles... here's what I found

Bejeezus feeds the 5000

Seeing his mega church spread like wildfire, Bejeezus decided to hold an open air rally to promote his latest book. Now the crowds swelled to 5000, and they were all having a rockin good time.

But later everyone got hungry, and the disciples wanted to send the crowd away so they could grab a bite at McHerods.

Now seeing an opportunity to turn a quick buck, Bejeezus ask if their was something they could sell to the hungry crowds. They found that a small boy had 5 loaves and 2 fish.

Knowing that this was not enough, Bejeezus broke them in pieces and added fillers and such, till it was enough to feed the whole crowd.

Now when the Bejeezus started handing out free samples, the disciples became alarmed at such a loss of profit. But Bejeezus calmed them down to explain that he was only doing so that he could sell even more later.

And sure enough, the fish/loaf samplers were enough for the crowd to buy him out. This pleased the disciples, especially since no-one had complained about the child labor used to gather the fish and loaves in the first place.

But, seeing the dangers of raising concerns amongst the now satisfied crowd, the Bejeezus determined it would be better if he went to farm raised fish, and used the profits to outsource the bread making operations to china.