Posted 8 years ago on Oct. 14, 2011, 12:27 a.m. EST by MikeyD
from Alameda, CA
This content is user submitted and not an official statement
As a member of the 1%, I want to assure you that you will not be left on your own when your dirty smelly boyfriends are arrested tonight/tomorrow.
My stretch hummer limo will be parked just a block away on Pine st, and I would like to offer its shelter to you, as your boyfriends are being billy clubbed/maced/processed downtown. I have an understanding with the fine folks at the Capital Grill that will allow you to get cleaned up, and wash weeks of filth and patchouli oil off before entering the limo. I will also be providing fresh clothing so there is no need to worry about that.
It's an 18 person setup, but I'll only be admitting 12 of you at a time for one hour sessions of "comfort and consolation". I'll be there from 6am to 12 noon, at which point I will be leaving on my private jet for my residence on Grand Cayman with the two girls who need comfort and consolation the most.
Hope to see you there.