Welcome login | signup
Language en es fr

Forum Post: A Tribute to Paul Harvey: Must see video

Posted 5 years ago on Feb. 13, 2013, 11:55 a.m. EST by chuckuschumer (-366)
This content is user submitted and not an official statement


A Tribute to Paul Harvey, a parody of the Superbowl "God Made A Farmer" commercial.



Read the Rules
[-] -3 points by chuckuschumer (-366) 5 years ago

“And on the Ninth day, God spilled some coffee on an angry possum and God made a Liberal.”

God said, “I need someone willing to get up at the crack of noon and check their Facebook and Tweet vile things; take a nap, borrow money from their parents and stay out all night drinking Pabst ironically and snorting bath salts and whine until midnight.” So God made a Liberal.

He said, “I need a person that can take a thriving community and turn it into a debt-ridden, post-apocolyptic welfare-state. I need someone who thinks Meat is Murder; Produce is raised in grocery aisles; who can’t fix a flat tire or change their own oil; and who, when forced to finally get a job as a barista makes you wait for your latte while they play Angry Birds on their iPhone, and then takes his union mandated two hour break.” So God made a Liberal.

God said, “I need somebody dumb enough to believe in Global Warming and deficit spending yet arrogant enough to look down at hard-working folk cause they don’t have a worthless Ph.D. in 17th Century Belgian Lesbian Studies. It had to be someone that would tax and spend, sue and attack, flip and flop, legislate from the bench and pass an unread bill. A person that would take a story of American success and turn it into a lesson of injustice.” So God made a Liberal.

“It had to be someone who would lie to themselves and others and envy the successful. Someone to whine, cry, demand, screech and scream ‘Sexist, intolerant, xenophobic, homophobic, Islamophobic, racist bigot!’ It had to be someone that at the end of the day they could go home after helping rip apart a country with divisive, race and a class war, and who would laugh and then sigh with mocking eyes thinking, ‘If I hadn’t aborted all my children they would probably say they want to spend their life doing what dad does’.” So God made a Liberal.