Forum Post: Thank you for your efforts to further the cause of socialism in America

While your heart is in the right place, your results are pathetic at best. Sitting around near banks, waving cheeky signs and drinking lattes? Get off your asses. Seize all banking facilities and latte shops! It's time for the People's tellers and baristas to take over. Anyone currently employed in these facilities is an enemy of the state by default, so drive 'em on out. Imprison them if necessary. Who needs their experience or education? . . . So you're a college student who doesn't understand interest rates? Who cares? You'll learn on the job.

As far as baristas, how hard can it be? I know the equipment may break down and no one will know how to fix it, but now you're just pining for the old days. This is a revolution and everyone must sacrifice. Coffee is equally as potent if stirred in a tin of boiling water over a stove. Before long, coffee beans will be scarce on the shelves anyway.

(However, since our leaders will need full access to their brain capacity, a few qualified baristas should be sent to serve the state asap, along with an assortment of only the finest equipment, before everyone forgets how to make a latte and all the machinery breaks down.)