Forum Post: My experience dealing with the 1%(several stories)

I apologize my dearest Braves fans. It appeared Milky was actually not over the “incident!” We can only hope he recovers for his next start, but until then we have Lamar’s Phillies coming to Turner….speaking of Turner…the front office actually offered to change the stadium name to suit my demands in hopes of keeping me from leaving in pursuit of my modeling career. Teddy and I are grand companions and he was supposedly in favor of the change, but I just couldn’t for my mind was set!! Anywho yes, Lamar’s Phillies have come to town and my sources tell me our great Braves will take all 3 competitive matchups!! This is all I can give as of now…I must depart and visit Mother in the hospital. She broke her pelvis late last night!! I do not have a clue what could have happened, but she remains constant in saying, and I quote, “It was worth it!” Father also seems at ease with the recent injury and told my sister today “That this was all his doing”…and then gave a small chuckle!! I reckon he has pushed her down the stairs again…it seemed as if Mother had broken something odd each month when I was younger. An ear, a tooth, the hole in her neck from the years of smoking… Oh well I must depart!!

Sincerely from a concerned son,

eaglemasterbrother

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As of this morning my resignation letter to our great organization has been granted its request to for your Atlanta Braves and I to part ways. This is an extremely complex and difficult decision for me my friends. You all hold such a dear section of my heart and as of this moment I cannot bring myself to post details of the affair. I feel at this moment in my life I am called for greater things and the Atlanta Braves and I are hurt that I need to leave so close to the season’s start. I have spoken to players, coaches, and front office members individually and each has respected my decision. I promise to give you all details of my new endeavor soon but alas at this time it proves to tough a task. So long till the time arrives!!

Sincerely from a hurt yet true to himself Braves, no longer front office member, but fan

eaglemasterbrother

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Oh I do declare the Atlanta Braves must have the most intelligent fans in all of Major League Baseball. You all are correct in that each of the names mentioned is indeed linked to trade talks for our Atlanta Braves. Frankie and the remainder of our great front office worked diligently and acquired Alex Gonzalez, who we all felt would be an improvement over Yunel Escobar. Mr. Escobar was a grand player with his flashy way of playing, although sadly was not producing at a pace we would have liked and even more sadly had an attitude that was not on tract with the traditional Atlanta Braves way of playing and presenting ourselves. I did enjoy Yunel during his stay in Atlanta and one memory that comes to mind was the time myself and Big Peter(Peter Moylan….the name is an entirely different story) bribed Yunel’s hairdresser into coloring his hair lime green! Oh the expression on his face I will never remember…yes remember…because once Yunel found out I was behind the scheme he attacked me with a blow dryer. We eventually made up and I bought him a wig, which he wore until just recently when his hair lost its green tint. Anywho as all of you are correct with the names mention I will leave you with the words once yelled by Mr. Kevin Garnett, “ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!!!!!”

Speaking of Kevin Garnett I cannot find my jersey that he personally signed for me. The last time I saw it Yunel had just trapped me in the corner of my closet threatening to “blow my face off.” Wait A Minute that flashy, hair coloring son of a gun stole my jersey and took it to darn Canada knowing I’m not allowed to enter that country since I attended that Justin Bieber concert!!

Sincerely from a man who has multiple restraining orders

eaglemasterbrother