Forum Post: Man confirms legends, the devil did in fact go to Georgia.

Man that declined to be identified confirms the legend, the devil did in fact go to Georgia, although his exact intentions can’t be known, the source suspects that he is looking for souls to steal.

When asked about Jesus’s heavy presence in the area and if that would perhaps provide a counterweight to Satan’s apparent soul-stealing program, man replied something about the seven heads of the beast and nuclear winter.

We interviewed a local finance major on the subject who excitedly started to ramble…”It’s a good time to get in the market, there isn’t that much reason to steal souls when prices are at all time lows, and with the new financial regulatory environment, we can more efficiently bring souls to market.'

'Listen to this, I’m going to use investor money to buy 100 subprime souls, then I’ll set up a structured payment system giving all the souls first to a specific group of shareholders who’ll receive all their souls before the next in line receives any of the souls they invested in. Then, I’ll buy an insurance policy on it, a soul-default swap, that way those subprime souls can be marketed as AAA souls, sure we have to pay either Moody’s, Fitch’s, or S&P to bless them first, but it’s totally worth it. Boom! 100 subprime souls just became 50 AAA souls and 50 B souls, from D stock, damn I’m good, thanks K-street!'

'Furthermore, we don’t think with these new financing options that anyone should have to steal a soul, it is really a buyers market out there. I’ve been informed that down here there is quite a waiting list to even get an interview to sell (one’s soul), and the prices are at a rock bottom.” “In addition, thanks to changes in regulations recently, now we don’t even have to hold even a percentage of souls that we buy, we can immediately resell them all, it really provides liquidity for our pockets, er I mean our markets.”