Forum Post: An Open Message

1) Please stop. Really, it’s flattering, but unnecessary. True, you owe us your attention, but must it be so negative? Those city parks you are spending your little camping trip in? We paid for them. Government innovation? Yeah, that’s us too. Military budget? Check. Education? Mmhmm. Your retirement? Enjoy that social security. 1a. Of course you helped. A much smaller percentage of your much smaller income is also taxed. Hey, we’re not upset. Really. It’s cute how you try to contribute to society.
2) Stop acting like this is our fault. Honestly, we hope you make it out of the 99 percent. This is not a zero-sum game. But this probably isn’t the way to get there. We didn’t take any money out of your accounts, we didn’t take any of your intelligence (not that we needed any), we stole none of your ideas (this was a wise move if this protest is any indication of their merit), and we certainly didn’t take any of that tremendous work ethic. 3) Stop trying to make hemp happen. We know it’s you. We don’t like the way you do it. The only part of it you understand is how to make necklaces, and the real reason you like it is because a form of the cannabis plant gets you high. We know all about hemp. We commodified it, and turned it into a way to get us richer. 3a) We hope that hurts worse than the pepper spray 3b) Also, when we all got together and decided to be the one percent (yes, this did happen. It was about 2, maybe 3 months ago), we decided that we really, really didn’t ever want to get pepper sprayed. Maybe it’s the money talking, but when we want something done, we much prefer to send a text message to one of our many US senate friends. Try it sometime. 3c) Wait, what? You don’t have those? Oh, right. I think being intelligent and influential has something to do with the fact we have those. 4) If you want to be influential, take note: People generally don’t listen to people who live in tents. 5) If you want to be intelligent, take note: Do less drugs, stay in school. 5a) Really, this message has been spoon-fed to you for years. Don’t know how much more we can say. 6) Please, never again compare yourselves to the civil rights or suffragist movement in America. Where is your Susan B. Anthony? Your Frederick Douglass? Jane Adams? Where is anyone in your movement who could even come close to a person such as Martin Luther King, Jr.? 6a) What adversity do you have to overcome? 6b) Is being in the richest country in the history of the world not enough? 6c) What do you stand for? 7) We don’t give handouts. We don’t have to. We earned where we are. The American system allowed us to do that, and we like it. 8) We already subsidize your laziness and idiocy with our hard-earned money. Our money mobilizes the government and the world’s most powerful military. We dictate policy to the politicians who you’re currently pissing off, and we’re getting very bored with being the scapegoats for your little project. 9) Do not fuck with us.