Forum Post: A poem for the 99

“Mommy”

I went into the grocery store to get my daily bread It’s up a dollar-fifty, and my checkbook’s in the red The girls behind the checkout laughed and giggled fit to die I out into the parking lot an’ to myself says I:

Oh, it’s Mommy this, and Mommy that, and Mommy, push that cart But it’s “Backbone of the country” when the campaign buses start The campaign buses start, my girls, they’ve got their talking points And Mommy’s on the radar when they’re gunning for the Joint.

Now the Cheerios hit $4.60, and the mayo’s pushing five But the paycheck, it ain’t movin’, ‘cause it’s based on CPI I emailed BLS to see if they miscalculated They wrote, “The math’s beyond you, Ma’am, but prices aren’t inflated.”

Oh it’s Mommy this, and Mommy that, and woman, please don’t grouse But it’s, “Please to share your story” when they’re vying for the House They’re vying for the Big House, girls, from now until this fall Our kitchen table talk will keep the candidates enthralled.

Now the party on the left, they say they know that Mommy’s sore And if they keep the White House, we’ll have Cheerios galore They gave us forty dollars just to show they’re truly kind We asked them where it came from and they said, Never you mind.

Oh it’s Mommy this, and Mommy that, and Mom, don’t quit your job ‘Cause we spent a hundred billion to bail out those worthless slobs Just make your check out, Mommy, and address it “IRS” (My campaign fund’s deductible if you’ve got any left).

Now the party on the right, they say they really feel our pain They’ll kick butt for free enterprise and everyone will gain They’ll toss your Daddy’s lazy bum right out of the PO And he can get a bagger job here at the grocery store.

Yeah, it’s Mommy this, and Mommy that, and Ma’am, you know the drill But we need your vote to make sure we can keep our coffers filled We own a couple islands and we have our jets to gas, So Mommy, keep on working, cause we heart the middle class.

They talk of better food for us, and schools, and being free Too bad the food’s been doused with atrazine and 2-4-D When Mommy wrote USDA to ask if it was safe, The Fox wrote back, “Don’t worry, dear - the chicken still tastes great.”

And it’s Mommy this, and Mommy that, and Ma’am, please take our word Just vote for us - it’s plain the other candidate’s a turd. And it’s Mommy this, and Mommy that, and anything you please, But Mommy ain’t no bloomin’ fool – you bet that Mommy sees!