Forum Post: A Communique from the Corona Brigade (Militia)

The following is an address from Commander I.M. Nuttz to his militia battalion which is about to depart for New York City.

Men and mascot dog, this is a solemn occasion as I bid you farewell in your mission to assist the Occupiers on Wall Street. The Occupiers, when confronted with bad apple cops, had no one to turn to, and so they turned to us. We're the go to guys who do the dirty work that no one else wants to do. As you performed admirably on your previous mission of ridding the local dump of muskrats, there is no question in my mind that you will be up to the task at hand. That said, you have your instructions to target only bad apple cops who use excessive force and brutality against the noble protestors. To aid you in your mission, you've been provided with the latest state of the art organic materials---organic tomatoes with maximum splattering potential and free-range eggs bred for large yolks. Again, these are only to be used on the worst of the worst. If all else fails, we'll bring down the enemy with large dry cleaning bills. If you have any leftovers, feel free to eat them for breakfast.

Now I fully realize that some of you may not return. You may be captured by the enemy and subjected to hideous tortures. The latest word is that NYPD is resorting to foot tickling and playing recordings of Bob Dole campaign speeches 24/7 to Occupier captives. However, with your rigorous and intensive training in Beverly Hills I have no doubt that you will be able to resist with dignity. And remember that you also have your mommy's telephone numbers in your front shirt pockets for emergencies.

With that said, I want to wish each of you---Barney, Goober, and Gomer, Godspeed in this most just cause. And don't forget to call when you reach the Greyhound bus depot in New York to announce your arrival. I will be monitoring events back here in California with my high powered binoculars. Also know that I will be hitting the casino as soon as I can in order to parlay $10 into enough bus fare to get you all back here safely.

Carry on, men! You do me proud.